Hello dearest readers. I’ve been reflecting lately about things that have happened to me and are happening to me and other females around me. It really got me thinking… Pretty girl problems are actually real. A lot of people assume that when you are good looking half of your problems in life are gone especially if you are a woman. The culture in this part of the world supports patriarchy and it’s all about women being at the mercy of men and it’s only logical the highest bidder enjoys the most of the benefits. The society views the “pretty women” as these highest bidders. But it actually isn’t always that way. In fact, these assumptions are the actual problem and no one ends up doing shit for you because they believe someone must already be doing it. They don’t show you love because they assume you get enough of it and they think all you are about is being pretty and they are committed to not taking you seriously!
Every pretty woman, especially in Nigeria, would agree with me on some of these points I put together to present our case.
1. We are always being judged:
If you are pretty, you are full of yourself, obsessed with your beauty and treat everyone like you are better than them and they are not having it the other way. People’s minds are programmed to assume this first before you manage to prove otherwise of which they still doubt it. Everything you do or say wrong, every mistake you make winds up to “Is it because she’s fine?” “She’s feeling too big”. They think you can’t really have much in your head because you are too busy maintaining this “precious beauty” you can’t possibly have a brain too.
2. People hesitate to show you some love:
Some of you can find this statement a tad bit ironic because it always goes that “the prettier you are, the better people will treat you” but that is actually the curse within the blessing. Especially where we are from, people have this primal instinct to kind of keep everyone “humbled” be it in wealth, status or beauty. They do this by constantly trying to bring you down, not giving you too much compliments “so her head doesn’t swell too much”. They take it upon themselves to “show you the hard way” as they assume you naturally have it easy in life. After all, you are just a cold hard shiny plastic barbie with no human feelings.
3. Pretty girls are the most insecure:
Tell me about it. All the pressure that comes with always being perfect or looking perfect can really take its toll on the mental health of many beautiful ladies. It’s like we gotta keep up and beat our existing “record” because God forbid what will happen when you “loose the sauce”. You hear statements like “she don black finish” “she no get money for cream again” “she is now shapeless”. These things keep girls on their toes and make them stay in unhealthy relationships, resort to bringing people down to make themselves feel good, doing all sorts to remain “flawless”. If nobody thinks you are pretty in the first place, you at least don’t feel like you have anything to lose and you are just alright and focusing on other things. Fam, all I gotta say is it ain’t easy.
4. Nobody ever believes you are broke:
This is just about the most annoying of all our problems. Like, you need to be in this Lagos to know what we are facing. People see you shining because, genetics and just assume you are a millionaire. My DNA doesn’t deposit money in my bank account every month. Edakun, epp me! But no, Nigerians will tell you “Ha! You ke? How can a whole you be broke”? But fine girls are even the brokest because we use all our money to stay pretty (jokes). But seriously, nobody understands us. They believe you are ok because you are looking good. At least, if you are not pretty people would still pity you and want to help your condition. Don’t get it twisted pretty girls don’t always get money handed to them like you all assume.
5. You get so much unwarranted attention:
For someone who absolutely detests attention like me, this is just excruciating. You can’t just get away with things less attractive women do without a struggle. You can’t even cross the road without eyes following you, men whistling and teasing and in your mind you are just like “I just want to be left alone”. Over time, we tend to bask in the attention and get used to it but there are just some days it gets smoldering and you just want to be invisible. I’ve been in situations where I’ve been accused of looking indecent or distracting wearing an outfit I’ve seen other women wear times and over without causing any trouble. In school or office setting, everyone is waiting for you to fail or do the wrong thing so that your “shakara” can finally “end”. Meanwhile, you aren’t even competing with anyone, you are just living your life as usual but people take it upon themselves to see that as a threat. There is just always this constant pressure on you because you are “the pretty one”
6. Pretty girls have more chances of getting caught up in wrong relationships and even marriages:
As a beautiful lady, everyone assumes the man lucky enough to have you treats you like a queen and worships the ground you walk on. But if you actually take it upon yourself to do a survey, you will find that it is even those women who are not considered “pretty” that benefit from loving husbands and boyfriends more. Ask me why? The chances of being approached as a pretty girl are way higher than the less attractive ones. Out of ten guys that approach you, maybe just one, or half even, is a good man. Now just imagine every month over fifty guys approach you, how many do you want to say no to. They all come with their games, do all they can to get a piece of the pretty damsel. What are the odds you pick one of the five good ones. It keeps going on and on like that and you become so used to male attention, you always have to be in a relationship, you have so many to choose from and it’s just so complicated, you just wind up with the one that ends up treating you like trash. For the men, there is the issue of insecurity that comes with being with a beautiful girl, ego struggles that can even turn an originally rosy relationship to something that leaves a bad taste in your mouth. God forbid you wind up with a psycho who does all he can to lower your self esteem because he already knows you are pretty and assumes you are going to be full of it so he makes you feel like you actually aren’t so he remains “the boss”. Please, does it seem to you like the so called “unpretty” girls have to deal with all of this? In fact, they have it better because they are sure that any man that comes after them isn’t there for the superficial reasons and actually loves you for who you are, which is what really matters.
I’m sure after reading all of this, if anyone ever told you you ain’t pretty, you would like it to stay that way. Lol. Pretty girls do you guys feel me? Let the world know what we go through. Share some of your experiences in the comment section and let’s all laugh at our pain. The person who said that “Beauty is pain” actually made the most accurate statement in history. Pretty girl problems are real!
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You know I’m awesome,xoxo.