Hello guys! Long time no post. I’m talking about something different today. Not every time beauty or makeup. Let’s have some real life conversations once in a while.
The title of today’s post must catch the interest of a lot of people because everyone couldn’t ignore that outstanding performance from Taraji P Henson in the movie Acrimony or the discourse that ensued from the contrasting opinions from viewers about the movie.
This has been going on for months after the movie was released. I remember watching this movie in April and it really left me with mixed feelings. I started out hating the man at the beginning of the movie and right before my eyes i watched the woman I so much sympathized with turn into the villain.
This story really got me thinking, is there really a limit to love? Is all really fair in love and war? And most importantly, it is said that love could change a man, but could this change be for better or for worse? Is love really what we think it is?
I deduced a lot of things from these questions and I’m just going to point out the lessons I learned from this movie
Our love is always give and take. It takes a special grace from God to love another person without conditions and at first many people could be inclined to such and get heartbroken and then the bitterness sets in and it’s basically just damaged people walking around. The only person that can love you unconditionally is God.. God and your parents. The love between parent and child is still the closest to the kind of relationship God has with creation. When we try to give it to others, we get in too deep and slowly begin to have expectations without realizing it. And when we expect this from others, we face utter disappointment because even that person, just like you, isn’t capable of that. Love is divine and what I deduced from that movie is that even while Taraji made all those sacrifices for him, what utterly destroyed her and drove her to acrimony was the expectation that somehow, she deserved some reward for everything she did. This drives me to the next lesson.
In my opinion, Melinda (Taraji) made too many unnecessary sacrifices. Doing enough and making sure you and your partner are contributing equally in a relationship is of utmost importance. When you start giving and giving to your own detriment, you begin to lose yourself and a part of you dies. You then get to a point where you are now dependent on that relationship to feel relevent, for your life to have a meaning. This is a perfect example of a toxic relationship. She had many chances to get out. This man showed her how much of a low life and characterless human being he was but no.. she became compelled to stay and wallow. She now chose to leave just when things were about to light up for him. She lost out from being mindlessly boundless. she lost out from driving herself to a point of being mentally unstable. Sadly, everything that happened to her was largely her own doing, no matter how much she blamed Robert.
A wise woman once asked what to look for in a husband, and she said get you a kind man. Robert wasn’t a kind person and all the signs were there and unfortunately, most men aren’t. If you ask me, men have a very predatory instinct and are more prone to being opportunists. The least we women can do about this is not put ourselves in the position to be taken advantage of. its only the fear of God that can remove this basic instinct from men. If Robert wasn’t a hungry piece of shit and actually didn’t sit back and allow Taraji spend her whole inheritance on him and he kept taking from her without thinking, if he did not cheat on her and made her furiously drive herself into an accident that made her lose her ability to birth children, none of those things would have happened. Many men love to act smart and tell themselves they didnt force the woman and they were simply taking advantage of an oppurtunity but they dont realize that everything has consequences. Robert might not have ended up being a villain but he still suffered alot due to his selfishness and even wound up with a bullet to his chest in the end after his apparent success. He had his own piece of the pie.
It might sound like the wrong advice, but this is something I am beginning to discover as the truth as I get older. Listen to your inner voice first over anyone else’s. There was something in there for them, Melinda and Robert, the relationship went through alot of struggles because of the bad choices they both made but in the end, there was glory. This man was going to make it. It was supposed to be them riding for each other till the end. It was meant to be, the love was there. But she just had to listen to her sisters and divorce him even after all those years of being with him. This was the ultimate mistake that led to Acrimony. I, for one, felt that if there was a point she should have listened to her sisters, it was before the marriage, when years haven’t been wasted and too many sacrifices haven’t been made. But oh well…
This might be totally unrealated to the love and relationship theme of the movie but I really have to give Robert some accolades for standing his ground concerning his research. I saw perseverance, I saw intergrity. He was a deadbeat boyfriend and husband for sure but when it came to his work this man was principled and it really inspired me. Anyone that watched that movie can’t deny they didn’t feel that ground breaking moment when he turned down that 800 grand to sell his research. He knew it was worth more than that. He knew his wife and family members were most likely going to have his head. But my nigga didn’t budge and look what happened. He became stinkingly rich just a short time after that. He had waited all that time, worked that hard. He didnt let the desperation and pressure make him sell his work for peanuts. That was something great.
Excused my French but my dear Taraji Supporters, if I’m really going to be anyone in that movie I would definitely be the winner. And that winner was in the person of Diana (the other woman). She was the ideal example of bringing something to the table. Many women in a bid to “hold their man down” end up playing themselves and become failures because they didn’t play their cards right. I’m not sure many women saw things from this angle but Diana literally walked into Robert’s life and changed it for the better. The hallmark of a great woman is in her influence and substance. She didn’t have to sacrifice her womb, go broke for him or do any of the nonsense that Taraji did yet she came and helped fulfill a lifelong dream of this man. And no, this isn’t to undermine small sacrifices or say its a woman’s duty to help a man achieve his dream but here’s the catch. This lady had all those years in her life, building herself up and building a career and in the end the height she reached by working hard for herself paved a way for the man she ended up with. He treated her like a queen and respected her for it. If taraji has invested that 300 thousand dollars she got as an inheritance from her parents more wisely or even built up her own career or business, it would have been way easier for her and they might have had a better life. She squandered the whole thing on him and thought he still won’t see how much of a foolish woman she had been and not recognise a woman of substance when he sees one. Ladies, hope you get it now. You see why we tell you to focus on yourself?
I have so much more to say about it but I feel I expressed my self way better in this 25 minute long video I took time out to make to air my opinions on everything I learned from this story and how it relates to our day to day life. Watch the video and tell me what you think in the comment section below.
Remember, God’s love is the answer to all life’s problems. Give thyself wholy to Him and He shall direct your path. Everything you desire in life is on the other side of Trusting in God’s love.
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You know im awesome, xoxo